Caregiver’s Tool Kit

For caregivers, self-care is essential to emotional regulation and avoiding burnout. Although many associate self-care with self-indulgence, nothing could be further from the truth. It’s actually a lot more like being in an airplane cabin that’s suddenly lost pressure. You have to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others. Put another way, we can’t be effective caregivers if we’re running on fumes.

What effective self-care looks like will vary from person to person, but here are a few core tools that can help just about anyone dealing with the stress of caring for others:

Caregiver Support

Spiritual Community

Nutrition

Exercise
& The Outdoors

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

SUPPORT

There is nothing in this life that God has asked us to do alone. All decisions, works, prayers, difficulties, and moments of rejoicing are meant to be experienced in community, uplifted by one another in love and truth. This is especially true in times of sorrow, trouble, and sickness. Whatever you encounter, know that you need not walk alone. Here are a few of the many resource available to help you in your caregiving ministry:

  • Jewish Family Service is a nonsectarian, nonprofit human service agency offering comprehensive, integrated, customized services to vulnerable individuals and families.

    Look for a Jewish Family Service Center near you!

  • Caregiver Action Network (CAN) is the nation’s leading family caregiver organization working to improve the quality of life for the more than 90 million Americans who care for loved ones with chronic conditions, disabilities, disease, or the frailties of old age. CAN serves a broad spectrum of family caregivers ranging from the parents of children with significant health needs, to the families and friends of wounded soldiers; from a young couple dealing with a diagnosis of MS, to adult children caring for parents with Alzheimer’s disease. CAN (the National Family Caregivers Association) is a non-profit organization providing education, peer support, and resources to family caregivers across the country free of charge.

  • HealthCare Chaplaincy Network™ (HCCN), founded in 1961, is a global health care nonprofit organization that offers spiritual care-related information and resources, and professional chaplaincy services in hospitals, other health care settings, and online. Its mission is to advance the integration of spiritual care in health care through clinical practice, research and education in order to improve patient experience and satisfaction and to help people faced with illness and grief find comfort and meaning - whoever they are, whatever they believe, wherever they are.

Spiritual Community

One of the best things a caregiver can do is find ways to connect with others. In-person is best, but when circumstances prevent face-to-face connection, phone, letter, and/or internet are better than nothing. Below, you will find a few suggestions for finding community, but there are nearly an infinite number of ways this might be done. Be creative about searching out new friendships and/or rekindling old ones.

Communion with Others

SYNAGOGUE

Even if you already temple regularly. Even if you haven’t been to in a long time, give your local rabbi a call to see how you might be able to get involved. Very often, synagogues have support groups already established. Or maybe he/she will suggest a study group.

SUPPORT GROUPS

Find out if there are active support groups for caregivers in your area. Support groups can be a great way to connect with people who are enduring similar stresses and challenges and may have great ideas about how to cope in healthy ways.

INTEREST GROUPS

Are you into sports? Politics? The outdoors? Antiques? Cars? Literature? Cross-stitch? Movies? Art? Find activities in your area centered around your field of interest. You’re bound to meet some new friends with whom you can chat about the latest game, great Russian novels, or this year’s tomato harvest.

Communion with God

PRAYER

Try reaching out to God in prayer, even if it’s been a long time since you prayed, or even if you feel nothing when you pray—even if you’re not really sure you believe in God anymore. It’s fine to begin simply. Ask Him for help with whatever troubles you. Thank Him for any good thing that has come your way. Or just speak plainly to Him from the heart. He will hear you.

MEDITATION

If prayer is talking to God, meditation is listening. Try sitting in silence for five minutes each morning. Let your thoughts pass through your mind like clouds in the sky. You won’t be able to get rid of thoughts, but you can be less attached to them. See how they pass, how little control they actually have over you. When we become a little less attached to our ego narratives, we allow God more room to speak into our lives.

JOURNALING

Try writing in a journal for ten minutes each day. Write little letters to God— asking Him questions, complaining to Him, loving Him, telling Him about your life. It doesn’t matter that He knows it all already. He still wants us to tell Him. He wants that kind of relationship with us.

May you be comforted by your ability to care and to give comfort.
May you derive strength from your own deeply held faith to be emotionally present to suffering and grief.

May your prayers give voice to the awesome state of our mortality in the face of the infinite.

And may you find grace to help others see that rage against loss carries within it the feisty spark of its own divine energy.

That our outcry is as important as our tears.

By Dr. Ken Gorfinkle

Adapted from When a Child Dies: Helping the Rabbi Help

PRAYER FOR CAREGIVERS

Nutrition

Are you eating enough? Are you eating too much? A yes to either of these questions can be a sign that the mind and body are stressed. But even more than that, poor nutrition adds stress to stress!

Making sure you’re getting more than popcorn and wine for dinner, or that you’re not dealing with stress by eating addictively, will reduce the strain on your mind, body, and soul. Balanced, nutritious meals fortify you and encourage physical and emotional peace. You will have more energy, patience, humor, and ease if you’re giving your body what it needs to function properly.

Here are some suggestions for stress-relieving nutrition:

  • Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and simple/refined carbohydrates, such as sugar

  • Don’t skip meals

  • Include plenty of foods that contain protein (beans, nuts, lean meats, eggs, soy-based foods, high-protein cheeses and yogurts), magnesium (dark, leafy greens, nut, seeds, and wholegrains), B vitamins (wholegrains, nuts and seeds), vitamin C (most fruits and vegetables), and Omega 3 fatty acids (fish and other seafoods, flax, plant oils, nuts and fortified foods)

  • Healthy comfort foods: dark chocolate, oatmeal, sweet potatoes, light popcorn, yogurt with fruit

Exercise and the Outdoors

Regular physical movement releases stress-relieving chemicals, such as endorphins—which enhance your sense of well-being, confidence, and ability to cope to stressful situations. Though exercise can be difficult, even painful, for those who have been sedentary for long periods—persistence in this area will pay dividends. You don’t need to be an athlete or gym-hound to reap the benefits of physical movement. Even low-impact forms of exercise can dramatically improve the quality of your life. Consider yoga, outdoor walks, dance classes, swimming, hiking, or biking.

“A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.”

— Irish Proverb